I got off work this morning as a 911 dispatcher at 0700 hrs.  Driving home (35 miles) my 14 year old boy calls me and says he is too sick to go to school.  Now keep in mind, school has been in session 3 weeks, and he has had this mysterious intestinal malady 5 times so far this school year.  So he says he has it again.  I tell him to wait till I get home, but I'm pretty sure he is ok, and I tell him to prepare to go to school. 

I finally arrive home, spy on him from behind the door, and there he is in bed, cartoons on, empty cereal bowl on his bedside table, and video game in hand.  I walk in to the room, the video game goes under the covers, the tv gets turned off remotely, and he proceeds to raise the back of his wrist to his forehead, and moan, while he grabs his stomach with his other hand. 

I say, "Gosh, you look terrible, and I am really worried about your bowels....I'm calling the doctor right now."  No he says, I just need medicine.  So I gather pepto, alka seltzer, immodium, tums, and aspirin, tell him to take it all, as I dial Popcorn, ( you know, that 757, any 4 digit number that tells you the time). 

 I say, "Hello, yes, this is Zac's mom, and I am worried about him, and need to have an emergency visit.  He has diahreah for the 6th time in two weeks, and he's too sick to get out of bed.  (Keep in mind, I am hearing the time every 10 seconds, so it's hard to cencentrate, and I have my back to Zac as I pace his room with my free hand on my hip) I continue with, "OH.....Oh MY!....Uh HUH, oooooh, an anal probe?  Oh my, that sounds serious, Uh Huh, yes, I understand, How far up do you go!? Is that necessary? oh I see, uh huh, yes, yes, ok, yes we'll be right down, thank you." then hang up the phone.

 As I turn around, there is my previously deathly ill son, all 5'11 of him, dressed, back pack on his shoulder, pushing past me as he says, "I'm not goin in for an anal probe, I'm goin to school.".  I say, "Wait, I just made you a doctor appointment, and if I cancel with less than 24 hour notice it will cost me 30 bucks."  He stops, grabs his wallet, hands me the 28 dollars in it, says "I'll borrow the other 3 from a friend", and out the door he goes.

I absolutely love this!  Aren't teenagers absolutely the best adventure a parent can have?!  I hope you don't mind, but I'll be sharing this one in the teacher's lounge at school today

Yes, quite an adventure.  Share this with everyone, cause it has worked for me twice, with Zac.  He just forgot about the first time. (6th grade).  Have a great day at school today.

Marieange

ROFLOLOL!!!! As many kids as I have, I have used stuff like this too many times! Very smart thinking. Amazing how fast they feel better, isn't it???

Ha ha ha ha! Thank you for posting this! I'll have to keep this in mind for when my son gets old enough to try stuff like this :)

This brought back momories of my brother when he was a teenager. He decided he would try and be a big shoot with some older guys and he got plastered and rolled a man's yard. Thinking mother and dady wouldn't find out was a joke. The next morning my daddy got him up before daylight now remember he has been sick ALL night with no sleep. My daddy made him go the gentleman's house clean all the t-papper up tell the man he was sorry and then get dressed and go to school. My brother tried to get my mother to check him out of school because he was "sick". Mother said no and when he got home from school he had to go back to the man's house and rake leaves and for the next month he worked for the gentleman everyweek. Needless to say drinking did not seem like such a good idea anymore.   

Becky

LOL!  A good friend of mine got caught drinking and partying when she was in high school.  The next morning she was sick with an awful hangover and for punishment, her parents had her sit a the kitchen table with a huge stack of S&H Green stamps and empty stamp books. She had to fill all the stamp books until the stamps were all gone. She had to lick all of the stamps with her tongue. They wouldn't let her use a damp sponge. She said it was awful, but she definitely learned her lesson.

I wanted to give you an update to this.  Today, I got home at 0740hrs, and gave Zac his money back.  With it, I told him that I have a standing order for that probe, so let me know if you get sick again, and I'll take you right in.  HIs response?  I'm fine, thanks.

You are telling your age. LOL most people don't know what green stamps are. And if you have ever licked that many stamps you know you will taste it for days.

Becky