The Association of Southern Schools has decided to seek a grant designating Southern slang, or Y'allbonics, as a language to be taught in all Southern schools. The following are excerpts from the Y'allbonics/English dictionary.

1) HEIDI - (noun) - Greeting.

2) HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage: "Heidi, Hire yew?"

3) BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow". Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

4) JAWJUH - (noun) - The state north of Florida. Capital is Lanner. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck and took it to Lanner."

5) BAMMER - (noun) - The state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayam. Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,00 in improvements."

6) MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."

7) THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

8) BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a nutter bare."

9) IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart.  Usage:" Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"

10) RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

11) ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

12) FAR - (noun) - A conflagration. Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thang's gonna catch far."

13) TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

14) TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris some time."

15) RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."

16) FAT - (noun and verb) - A battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup yuh."

17) RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."

18) CHEER - (adverb) - In this place. Usage: "Jest set that bare rat cheer."

19) FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage: "I cuddin't unnerstand a wurd he sed . . . must be from some farn country."

20) DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage: "He's did, Jim."

21) ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas containing oxygen. Usage: "He cain't breathe . . . give 'im some are!!"

22) BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: "Boy, stay away from that there bob war fence."

23) JEW HERE - (pronoun and verb) - Contraction. Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence c ump'ny?"

24) HAZE - (pronoun and verb) - A contraction. Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah . . . haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."

25) SEED - (verb) - Past tense of "to see." Usage: "I ain't never seed Noo Yawk City."

26) VIEW - (verb and pronoun) - contraction. Usage: "I ain't never seed Noo Yawk City. . . view?"

27) GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution. Usage: "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."

SARA...shame on you...

I tried reading all the sentences without first reading the word and the definition...and understood every one of them!!! That is funny!!!

Reta

good un, Sara

hahaha I will have to remember some of these words!

Humm...so Thats why people keep saying "Heidi, Heidi!" All has been made clear! Thanks!

Heidi

PS..My brother in law must have been interviewed by the Association of Southern Schools. He could easily write (well, maybe not write...) the book for them.

 

Heidi (my name, not the greeting)

  Yup.... shore nuff, that's about how we tawk down here...... ;)

Just ask me and I will tell you, I do NOT have an accent.  But after the time I spent almost 20 minutes on the phone with a gentleman at work one day and he kept asking me the same questions over and over -- until finally he said, "Just exactly what part of Georgia are you from? I can't figure it out." 

So I tend to keep it in check, but the longer I talk, it seems to just jump off the stoop!  And if you haven't guessed, having a conversation is not a problem for me!!   So as much as I would love to claim GA, sorry, I can't. North Carolina is my second home -- and I love every bit of it.

Pan

IWe were hippies in the 70's and we lived in the hills of Kentucky.  No electricity, no plumbing, no water, no heat, etc., etc.  I recognized many of those terms and my sons tell me I still can't say "High School" (ha schoo) or Cow (caw) among other words I've never been able to straighten out up here in Wisconsin.  And I was born and raised up here.  Only spent about 8 years in KY, but just can't shake the accent.  It's especially strong if I talk to anyone from the south or I'm very "tard". 

Mary -   Thanks for bringing back lots of good memories

(...snicker...giggle...)  Thank you so much for sharing this.  (...giggle...)  Ah, the memories.  (...snort...snicker)

There was a joke like this I heard back in the 80's when I was stationed in South Georgia.  The following is a conversation between two rednecks:

MR DUCKS

AR NOT

OSAR, CM WINGS

LIB MR DUCKS

In plain English that works out to saying:

Them are ducks

They are not

Oh yes they are.  See them wings?

Well I'll be.  Them are ducks.


 

I finally read this thread after seeing it listed the past few days... and man, did I get a laugh!

And I love that the "Southerners" here don't mind poking fun at themselves. We could all take ourselves a little less seriously sometimes. (I'm speaking from personal experience on that one...)

Thanks for the laughs! I needed them today.  

OK Ya'll,  I just want to know I took formal English classes and they did help somewhat, but I still can't say 'oil"  Family still laughs at me!!!  Oh, and I am much better with omitin'  double negatives!  This post reminded me of my first encounter with a REAL northerner.  After asking her repeatedly what she was trying to say to me on the phone, she said words we are not allowed to typed on this forum, slammed the phone down, and shortly afterwards stomped into my section continuing her rant!!!  I learned that day that not all Americans speak the same language!  Quality time working together can mend the fence though:)  lol  Oh, sweet memories!!!  My husband could add to the list!    Wanna is definately an addition!  Ya-onna go?= Do you want to go?    Ja eat yet?=Did you eat yet?