Some great military and flying quotes

"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it.  That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit."

- Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.
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"Aim towards the Enemy."

-  Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher
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"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.

- U.S. Marine Corps Training Manual
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"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate.  The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground."

- USAF Ammo Troop
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"If the enemy is in range, so are you."

- Infantry Journal
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"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed."

- U.S. Air Force Manual
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"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo."

- Infantry Journal
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"Tracers work both ways."

- U.S. Army Ordnance
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"WARNING: Five second fuses last three seconds."

- Infantry Journal
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"Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever volunteer
to do anything."

- U.S. Navy Swabbie
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"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid."

- David Hackworth
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"If your attack seems to be going too well, you're walking into an ambush."

- Infantry Journal
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"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection."

- Joe Gay
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"Any ship can be a minesweeper ... once."

- Anonymous
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"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do."

- Unknown Marine Recruit
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"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you."

- Anonymous U.S. Marine Corps Drill Instructor
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"If you see an Explosive Ordinance Technician running, try to keep up with him."

- Anonymous
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"Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death ... I Shall Fear No Evil. For I
am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing."

- Sign at the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base Kadena,  Japan
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"You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3."

- Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)
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"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."

- Anonymous USAF Flight Instructor
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"There are more planes in the ocean than submarines in the sky."

- >From an old carrier sailor
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"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a
helicopter -- and therefore, its inherently unsafe."

- Anonymous
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"When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough
power left to get you to the scene of the crash."

- Anonymous
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"Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another expensive flying club."

- Anonymous
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"There is a similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots. If a
pilot screws up, the pilot dies. If ATC screws up, .... the pilot dies."

- Unknown Pilot Survivor of Aircraft Crash
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"Never trade luck for skill."

- Anonymous Carrier Pilot
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The four most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are:

          "Why is it doing that?"

          "Tower.how much too low am I on the fin..."

          "Where are we?"

          "Oh S...!"
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"Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers."
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"We had some real progress in airline flying:  now a flight attendant can
get a pilot pregnant."

 -Unknown
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"Airspeed, altitude and brains.  Two are always needed to successfully
complete the flight."

 -Unknown
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"A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a row
is prevarication."

 - Wilbur Wright to his first flight school student
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"I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous."

 -Unknown
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"Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!"

 -Unknown
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"Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a
person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about
it."

-Unknown
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"When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten."

-Unknown
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"Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held
on a sunny day."

-Unknown
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Advice given to RAF pilots during WWII:  "When a prang (crash) seems
inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity
as slow and gently as possible."
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"The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill
you."

- Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
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"A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to its
maximum."

- Jon McBride, astronaut
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"If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash
as possible."

- Bob Hoover (renowned aerobatic and test pilot)
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"Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you."

-Unknown
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"There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime."

- Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ,
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"If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."

-Unknown
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Basic Flying Rules:  "Try to stay in the middle of the air.  Do not go near
the edges of it.  The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance
of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space.   It is much more difficult to fly there."

-Unknown
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"You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal."

-Unknown
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The test pilot was climbing out of the experimental aircraft, having torn
off the wings and tail in the crash landing.  The crash truck arrived, and
the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asked, "What happened?"

The pilot's replied: "I don't know, I just got here myself!"

- Attributed to Ray Crandell (Lockheed test pilot)

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 "The two most useless things for a pilot are Altitude above you, and Runway behind you."

taught at USAAF bomber school - WWII

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From the Pilot's Ten Commandments:

"Airman, keep up thyne airspeed, lest the ground reach up and smite thee mightily."

Hey ThanksMom,

You have such a knack for finding funny quotes.  Starting your day with a laughter is priceless.  Thanks for everything "Mommy".

Love, Mimi

I found a quote that I really like, a little different than the previous ones, but still good!