Chyenne:

Oh my gosh, they will eat you out of house and home.  Breakfast was a pound of bacon, 10 eggs, pancakes and a whole plate of hashbrowns.  He was playing a video game and downed a whole gallon of milk and a carton of orange juice.  Food just disappears instantly.  It's understandable considering what they've been eating.  4 or 5 hamburgers at one setting wasn't unusual.  His girlfriend was astounded at what he was eating.  She thought that she had bought enough food for the two of them.  She was back at the grocery store in two days stocking up.

Chyenne

LOL!  Too funny.  My ex wasn't real hungry at first... I think his stomach shrank from avoiding the crappy food (most food there) for 7 months.
 

Chanel #5...all the time....same perfume always...and it helped!  Family smell, all the women in the family wore/wear it.  Grandmom figured it out many moons ago.  jz

Barbara Schochet:

Andrea, I've been working on a booklet on coming home (it's mostly for the R & R but applies to coming home too)

 

Barbara -- Would your booklet apply to co-workers of returning servicemen and women as well?  I work for a large organization, and we have a quite a few individuals in the National Guard and in the Reserves who are currently deployed or who have recently returned home.  What can we as co-workers do to help?

--Marilyn

Marilyn, That is a great idea and maybe I can adapt the booklet.Here are a few things off the top of my head:  anysoldier folks know these things but sometimes others don't: 1) Don't ask if they killed anyone; 2) cut them some slack - if they lose their temper, or call and say they had a rough night and would like to not come in, let them stay home; 3) no practical jokes and no sneaking up on them;  4) don't discuss your own feelings about the war; 5) be supportive to them and their family; 6) be sensitive to the fact that their lives were at stake and they will not appreciate your whining about the nonworking vending machine 7) understand their hypervigilance and jumpiness - don't laugh if they hit the ground if a lightbulb bursts. Mostly, let 'em know you're glad they are back! Maybe others have suggestions? Barbara

 Yeah PTSD is a big thing, read up on it and its not his fault if he does have it the number of guys and girls comming home with it is high. be very understanding when he wants to talk, even if you dont wanna hear about it or you realy are not in the mood to listen. pretend you are it helps. i was in Iraq last year and i ran convoys there was alot of guys who just needed to talk about it with someone and now they are good, people who try to keep it in will have a hard time with it, dont look to hard for it rite away it could be a while before it affects him. There is alot of things they say dont do, like scare him and slam doors and all but you will have to see if there is anything that bothers him personaly, there may be nothing..there was nothing that got to me. Sleeping  is a real big thing if you notice he is not sleeping or waking up and jumping up or anything of the such, you should ask him to go talk to someone about it to help. other than that just be very understanding of how he feels. being that you asked this question and you are trying to make your understanding better tells me you love him alot...i wanna thank you personaly for your support...

Hello Andrea,

My husband and I have been married 11 years, and May will be 11 years in the Army for him.  He is currently on his second deployment.  Everyone here has given you great advice. Loud noises, playing jokes such as jumping out at them, crowds, and sleeping are all problems that a soldier can have.  After my husband came back from Bosnia and ever since then, a certain perfume makes him sick to his stomach, sometimes to the extreme of vomiting.  All because the mass graves were doused in the same smell.  When he was home on R&R a month ago from Astan crowds bothered him more and he had a problem of sleeping.  He felt very out of place the first few days, like he didn't know "what to do".  You have to think of how he sees things now.  You have changed physically, possibly personality also.  The house he remembers has changed, people have different material things, look different.  TV is different, shows, movies, etc.  Smells are sometimes different to them also. I mean gees an MRE packet of peanut butter doesn't quite taste or smell like JIF HAHA  Just take your time with him, talk and most of all listen.  If he wants to go and hang out with the guys alot soon after just realize hes doing it because they are his family, his brothers.  He trusted no one else but them. He may be very cuddly or he may distance himself, its different everyday sometimes.  His attitude may be different.  Where he may used to talk to you about something that bothered him may now make him more furious.  Someone said don't make plans without him....good idea.  Maybe you mention things, let him say yes or no but if you get to that place and he doesn't feel comfortable, understand and be willing to leave no questions asked. 

Okay so Im just rambling on.  If you have any more questions feel free to PM me anytime.  

Good luck to you, Angela 

Hi Angela...I sent you an email. xo, Laura