I live in a rather, shall we say, openly anti-war area (as most university towns tend to be). I feel a bit hesitant to explain to people what I'm doing, because I have had some instances where people seemed to equate "helping the soldiers" with "supporting the war." Of course, trying to explain to someone that this is NOT the case doesn't often get through their brains, as they see only red. And to be honest, it ticks me off, so I clam up and don't say much else. Let's face it, most people are pretty stubborn in their beliefs, no matter WHAT they are. Including me. ;)

 Have you experienced this? What did you say/do? 

Well, Marty has dictated that this Forum is NOT a place to debate politics, so won't go into detail here on how I handle those conversations.  Thankfully, I rarely encounter them here in my area.  I generally share some of the information I've learned from the soldiers themselves to explain my position on the situation.  I tell them I prefer to get my information from the people who are actually there, rather than the people "reporting" on what is going on.  I've actually had some very positive reactions to that.  

I'm pretty stubborn myself, Valeta!

Valeta,

Being from a state that has quite a few military bases I've not had too many situations as you refer to.  Of course being almost 6'0" & 245lbs I don't think too many people would get in my face over the issue.  The few people I know and or work with that DO NOT support the war still pray for the troops.  I even had a woman tell me once she hated GW (the Pres) but thought it was wonderful what I was doing.

I always thought of sending "items" to the troops as something I wanted to do.  It made me feel good and in some small way maybe erased an ugly spot that sticks in my mind as to the way some troops were treated about 40 years ago.

I'm sorry you have had such frustration with certain people around were you live.  The only possible advise I could give would to try and smile, and warmly to this person say, "Bless your heart".

Best of wishes to you and yours.

In NC... dw_nc

It hasn't been anything overly unpleasant or horrible - I definitely didn't mean to give that impression! There's just this general eyebrow-raising and wrinkling-of-the-nose every now and then (75% of the time, people smile and say things like "Oh, what a nice thing to do!"). I'm not looking to convert - that won't happen - just politely extricate myself from the wrinkled-nose-look. I definitely wouldn't want them to think I was pushy or annoying (thereby giving a bad impression of AnySoldier). It's just kind of...weird for me (I'm kind of shy). Their opinions of the war (and they often feel they need to share them) are of no interest to me; that is irrelevant to my desire to bring a smile to a soldier. But around here, ANY mention of "soldier" is bound to cause someone to want to share their thoughts on the matter.

I rarely bring it up, though. One time I did, to my boss's wife, she really pleasantly surprised me by getting behind it, and now pays for shipping box every now and then.

I live in "The Bluest County in the South."  For the past several months, I've been telling everyone about AnySoldier...friends, coworkers, neighbors, hairdresser, dentist, store clerks, total strangers walking down the street, LOL.  I rarely get any kind of negative response.  I don't know why our experiences vary so widely. A lot of things go into shaping the culture of a place, I guess.

This post reminded me of a conversation I had just yesterday.  I live about 1/4 of a mile from where the vietnam memorial is being built for my county and as I was driving by yesterday I spotted an old friend working there that I lost contact with when we both moved within weeks of each other about 6 years ago.  We stood there in the hot sun for a long time catching up and I brought up anysoldier.  He said, "Don't go there, that is a touchy subject in my house."

I looked at him like he was nuts.  I am not an outspoken person and had to pause for a minute.  I know him pretty well and know I can speak my mind without judgement though.  How could he stand there, volunteering his time to build the Vietnam memorial, and tell me "not to go there"?

I didn't say all I wanted to say but I gazed at the memorial and basically said that I would support THEM and all they stood for.  If they needed drink mixes, or shampoo, or a football and I had it and could have made one more day brighter for THEM I would have done it. 

He had no reply for that.

I also added that I don't always agree with our government, but my husband has talked to a couple of men that have been deployed.  Not one of them feels that they shouldn't have been in Afghanistan or Iraq.  They tell him that they see progress being made, things we don't see on the news.  I don't rely on what the media tells me or wants me to believe.  If they think they should be there, I believe them and I will keep sending letters, drinks mixes and squirt guns.

Who cares if you believe in the war or not? We aren't talking about the war, we are talking about people.  People who aren't afraid to stand up for what the believe. I don't believe in war (who in their right mind wants it???) but I believe in people.

Valeta,

I've experienced some similar reactions, and it's also hard for me to respond because I get very emotional about "my soldiers".

I usually just take a deep breath and tell people to take a look at the site and read a few postings.

Mostly, though, my family, friends, and even total strangers respond in a very positive way. And I love it when that happens, because it makes up for the times when people do cruddy things, like cut me off in traffic or are rude to me at the grocery store, etc. I get reminded again and again that there are a lot of nice people in the world. The not-so-nice ones just tend to stand out more, usually because they're louder!

Jenifer

I've been "swimming against the tide" on so many issues I guess being at odds with others is second nature now, LOL. I find that selective hearing is not just for the elderly! My good friend has an excellent reply to many comments she doesn't agree with, she says, "I hear you." That doesn't express agreement, but does let the other person know you heard. It can end the 'conversation' neatly as well.

Thanks, Mom

These are all really great thoughts and I appreciate them very much.

For things I'm passionate or protective about (believe me, they are FEW), confrontation really confounds me, and in my fury, I don't say anything at all because the only things that pop into my head are very impolite. ;) I just see red, lol.

 

I hope it's not to late to add this... I know what you are saying I see it too. Not negative per se as many say nothing at all but others have to express their dissent for the administration.  It’s never personal or directed at the support since they can’t be sure that I’m not sending to family (as you know in Michigan we have many Reserve and National Guard units deployed.)  Another Supporter here said people are just naturally curious…

“Gentle Reminders” that there are in deed many ways to support the troops both collectively and individually.  Like most things in life there are many ways to the same results…
Last winter, I was asked directly how I felt about the weekly protest gatherings and the “protesters.” I responded that some people support the troops by marching outside the post office; I prefer to stay indoors.  I pack boxes for individual soldiers in front of a fireplace and then go inside the post office to mail them.  My way is not better just warmer.  

“I’m just sending pieces of home until they can come home.”
With some I can compare it to the local college students that survive on care packages* from home. Many of the troops are around the same age and need the same support from home…that familiar things from home might be missed due to the distance and duration of the time away. . . Or missing, due to sheer volume…(some might hear this as my personal attempt to offset the shortcomings they are remarking about). . . Or just unaffordable, their wages are little more than those of college students. . .

Personally, I don’t mind the political discussion that is generated.  I detest the immediate assumption that there must be a tax benefit to it.  I so loathe this that I had to turn every time I hear it into an opportunity to share that donations to the website anysoldier.com are tax deductible and how they can make one.  This is the one response I have to deflect -- the cynicism of it is too much for me.  (Maybe I’m just not that jaded yet).  

Don’t worry about ever making a “bad impression of AnySoldier” --from what I can tell so far--supporters come in many flavors.  Your desire to make a soldier smile represents it all very well!  Share that very sentence with anyone who misunderstands.

Sorry it’s a really long way to say I’m sure you will do the right thing every time!

Shine on,
betc


*zingerman’s ad goes here

I didn’t want to add this to an already lengthy post…and I'm not really sure it goes here?

More recently, my encounters with others (usually while shopping) have included comments like “I could never afford to do that—I’m just getting by, you know.”  I tell them to go check out the site.  I like to point out the option and the benefit of sending cards, notes and letters.  This is still affordable for many and just as important as any package!  Support can take many forms as we all know...

See, I really can’t afford to do this either (at least not right now anyways.)  But, I’m fortunate to have family support and I love resale! (I “pet sit” and dedicate their “payments” to postage costs.  I never charge a fee but they know I use the money for anysoldier postage so they pay me well to keep me going. I tell them how many boxes I can send with any amount they give, e.g., 7 days=20 boxes!) For me, often the postage is more than the contents value. A good example is jigsaw puzzles @ 3for$2 (including sales tax) and only 6 (1000 piece) to a FRB2 that’s $9 to mail $4 worth of contents eek! My mom also checks on what things I need for boxes and gives me lots to send by picking up any good deals she finds.  I couldn’t do this without them! But I know right now, for many people $13 is more than their budget can handle...we're all paying more than that just to fill our tanks with gas nowadays!

Sorry, I'm not sure what this has to do with the price of tea in China..just wanted to include it with "feedback from others re: support efforts." hope you won't mind the addition 

Hello!  Just a thought, have you ever tried sending the puzzles in a regular box, other than the flat rate one?  They are so light weight, it shouldn't cost nearly as much.  I do that if I'm sending things such as Ramen Noodle cups, etc. 

I have a friend who works at the post office, and she told me that the "3-pound rule" is a good one to follow.  If you are sending something that weighs less than that, you'll save a little bit by not going flat rate.  Of course, I took this as a personal challenge to make sure if I'm using a flat rate box that it weighs way more than 3#...

I'm sorry I got off "thread"--but wanted to reply where you might see it! 

I have found that, rather than talking about "supporting the troops," I get a more positive response if I just start talking about one of my soldiers.  "How are you?"  "Oh, I'm great!  I just heard from one of my soldiers in Iraq.  She's an EMT who works at AID station and wants to become a nurse...." This helps to make it personal, not political.  I also go on at some length about how awful conditions are...140 degree weather, dirty, buggy, etc. And how they need such basic things as toothpaste and shampoo.  Most people are shocked to hear this.

I have also found that people are more likely to get interested if you tie it to one of their own interests.  I talk to people who like dogs about the many canines who are also serving, and how their handlers have a hard time finding dog toys and treats for them.  I have a friend who loves a good cigar, so I told him about all the soldiers who also love a good cigar, but can't find any over there.  It was easy for him to empathize with a fellow cigar smoker.

 

Thanks Phillis!  Not to worry if you post it I'll read it! Your posts keep me in stitches!  (I added you to my prayers to get a little extra in for you--in advance of the chat features arrival!)

You wouldn't expect that those little peices of cardboard would weigh that much but the boxes always weigh more than 4lbs (used to be $7.45 for 4lbs not sure how much now?)  Check the postage calculator you may still be able get an extra pound into the regular (or larger priority mail) boxes for less than the flat rate. I weigh every box on a canning scale...and the heavier ones on my bathroom scale with a little subtration for me holding it

Oh, one more thing... I'm too far away to invite you to 'do lunch' (and I'm sure I couldn't swallow a drink without spraying it if I had you live in person) so I'll have to wait for the convention that's brewing to finally give you all the hugs I'm saving for you!

Doesn't a convention sound like the most amazing thing???  And thanks for the prayers--I need all I can get most days!  That live chat thing scares me--maybe y'all should try and keep it a secret from me for a while!  I'm putting in way more than my 2 cents worth already.  And a special little prayer request--my step-dad is chairman of a retired military golf tournament that starts Monday.  We are stuffing "goody bags" on Sunday afternoon, and I'm putting an "anysoldier" card in each one.  Let's pray that all 300 of those folks get on board with us! 

What part of Michigan are you in?  I used to do customer service relations for a company, and although my office was in Alabama, my territory covered the eastern/midwest section.  I spent all day every day on the phone with people from Detroit, Chicago, St. Paul.  Would you believe, almost every one of them told me I talked funny!  And here all this time, I'd been thinking it was them!